Hello beautiful peoples!
Today a slightly different type of a post.
As April 1st approaches, I can’t help but relive the memories of a day that could have been my last. Almost three years ago, on April Fool’s Day 2022, I found myself fighting for my life in University Hospital in Limerick. This is a story I carry with me daily – a haunting reminder of how easily life can turn upside down when we put everything and everyone before our own well-being.
It all started in February 2022, when I ignored the signs of what seemed like a common cold or virus. Instead of resting and allowing my body to recover, I allowed work – and the opinions of others – to dictate my decisions. In the early years of my immigration I fell on bad luck and could not get permanent employment. I was getting part time work here and there but nothing serious. Even after I have found a permanent work and stuck with it for over 7 years there were members of my own family who questioned whether I was a good employee and have I truly deserved my paycheck. Their doubt stung deeply, and in an effort to prove them wrong, I pushed myself to the brink. I worked extremely hard, putting in long days and unpaid overtime, all while ignoring the toll it was taking on my health. Adding to this, my neglected type 2 diabetes, which had not been properly managed due to a poor work-life balance, had significantly weakened my immune system. This made me more susceptible to the virus that would eventually wreak havoc on my body. Looking back now, I see how this desperate need to validate myself and lack of self-care led directly to the catastrophic events that followed.
Weeks of neglecting my health took a toll. By the time April 1st arrived, I was in critical condition. The virus I had ignored had attacked my heart, causing it to swell – a condition known as myocarditis. My heart was unable to contract and expand properly, and the swelling led to fluid slowly filling my lungs. For nearly a week, I struggled to breathe, my past habit of smoking only worsening the situation. Black dots began appearing before my eyes, a stark warning of how dire things had become. Even as I gasped for air, my employer showed no compassion, demanding I work while laughing and shouting at me. When I finally sought medical attention, it was almost too late.
Being hospitalized on April Fool’s Day was surreal. Everyone I informed thought it was a joke. But for me, it was no laughing matter – it was a fight for survival. After 11 gruelling days in the hospital, I was released, but the ordeal left its mark. Throughout it all, I missed my wife deeply. We’ve never spent more than a several hours apart, yet now I was forced to be away from her for nearly two weeks. The Covid restrictions only made it worse, as she wasn’t allowed to visit me. One word sums it up: NIGHTMARE. To make matters worse, while others with broken bones were being discharged within a day or two, I had to endure 11 long days in the hospital. Recovery has been a long and winding road, and even today, I still suffer the lingering effects of that illness. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, I’m not the person I was before.
Through it all, one thing I’ll never forget is the incredible care and compassion I received from the staff at Limerick University Hospital. Their expertise, dedication, and kindness saved my life, and for that, I will always be profoundly grateful. Equally important was the unwavering support of my family and friends. They stood by me during some of the darkest days of my life, offering comfort, encouragement, and strength when I needed it most. I owe so much to the people who surrounded me with love and care, and I will never take that for granted.
Interestingly, my wife declared that April 1st was now my “second birthday.” It’s fitting, really – considering how foolish I was to risk everything for an employer who cared so little about my well-being. That sentiment echoes loud and clear as I reflect on what happened. It’s a painful yet empowering reminder to prioritize the things that truly matter.
The trauma of those events continues to follow me like a shadow. Anxiety, fear, and a constant replaying of those moments suggest I might be dealing with PTSD – or something like it. Every year as April 1st approaches, the memories resurface even harder, uninvited and unyielding. During my last two appointment visits to UHL, I was offered support from a psychologist, and I find myself genuinely considering accepting their help. Perhaps it’s time to take that step toward healing.
Adding to the challenges, my cardiologist has since informed me that returning to work is not an option. As a result, I was placed on “Illness Benefits” initially and, on January 18th, 2024, was granted “Invalidity Pension.” Adjusting to this new reality has been difficult, both emotionally and financially, but I am trying to embrace the changes and find new meaning in life.
I’ve taken this experience as a harsh but necessary lesson: You are not a “family member” or “friend” to your employer. The workplace is not a substitute for your personal relationships, no matter how often they throw around the “F-word” of Family or Friends to blur boundaries. If it’s not in your contract, you have no obligation to sacrifice your health, your happiness, or your time for their gain.
Heath Ledger once said, “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” And here’s the truth: your employer pays you to do a job, not to lose yourself in the process. Work hard during your hours, but when the clock stops, go home. Spend time with the people who truly matter – your real family and your actual friends.
To borrow Heath Ledger’s words once more: the events of early 2022 didn’t make me stronger; they made me different. Stranger, yes. Mangled, certainly. But stronger? Not in the way we often romanticize overcoming adversity. And that’s okay. Survival alone is a triumph.
Above all, this experience has taught me to value my time more than anything else. While money is important, it pales in comparison to the time we have with those we cherish. I’ve come to realize the importance of surrounding myself with worthy family and friends – people who genuinely want to spend time with me and who welcome my messages, not those who view me as an annoyance or obligation. This perspective has also clarified my decision to maintain estrangement from certain relationships, including my younger sister, who lives in the same small town as I do. I chose to cut off contact with her and her side of the family around 2012, and it’s a decision that, while difficult, has brought me peace.
We cannot take earthly possessions with us when we’re gone. What truly matters is the love we share and the lives we touch. At the same time, I strive to be a worthy family member or friend to others, offering my time and care without becoming a burden. As Bobby Singer from “Supernatural” series wisely said, “Family don’t end with blood.” It’s a reminder to nurture the relationships that bring joy and meaning to our lives while letting go of those that drain us. Life is too short to waste on anything less.
As I step forward, April 1st remains a bittersweet anniversary – a day to reflect on the lessons learned and the resilience found in the face of hardship. While the road has been far from easy, it has also been filled with moments of love, support, and clarity. With each passing year, I’m reminded to cherish the time I have, the people who truly matter, and the gift of life itself. Birthday gift for this fool… Here’s to living – not perfectly, but meaningfully.
Catch you on the flip side,
AndrzejL
